Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Husband

The past couple of years have been pretty crazy, relationship-wise, for me. I was married 3 years ago to my husband, Fred, and got pregnant right away; during the pregnancy and 6 months following my husband and I grew farther apart for a number of reasons and eventually it culminated in him leaving. For the next year and half I didn't see or hear from him much at all. He was busy being depressed and I was busy trying to raise the boys. It was extremely un-fun and confusing and, at times, stressful. 3 months ago I decided to file for a divorce. It was a hard choice and I hated having to make it because I still loved Fred and wished he would just choose to come home. I felt that we weren't finished yet, but didn't know what else to do.

And then, last week, I received a call from a nurse at the hospital letting me know Fred was there. Last year he had been in the hospital with a severe migraine and had been diagnosed with a brain lesion. The headaches had never really gotten better and the docs didn't really want to do anything with the lesion because it was too small to biopsy and was planted right on his speech center. Well, they did something about it this time! The "lesion" had grown 4mm and almost killed him. Thank God he went in when he did!

We've found out that the "lesion" is actually a low-grade cancerous tumor. The docs removed some of it, but there are still "fingers" that they cannot reach without disabling Fred in some way so now he is looking at chemo and/or radiation.

The amazing thing to me is that the docs said that this tumor in Fred's brain probably caused all of the depression and angry outbursts that had driven us apart in the first place. That the tumor, for sure, was there 2+ years ago and affecting his executive decisions. So I took him back. All is forgiven and we're trying to start over. I'm amazed at the work that God has done in my heart. Even though I've never stopped loving Fred...I still had my record of wrongs and requirements for him to complete before I would allow him back in the house (if he ever decided to come back). But in one Sunday service God completely changed my heart (and that of my family, who we live with) and he's home. And we're doing well. He has even stepped up to the plate and become the spiritual leader in the home.

So, I'm not a single momma rambling anymore; I'm a married momma rambling and I couldn't be happier and more grateful to God for this miracle.

(but still pray for me because Fred is around 24/7 and, much as I love him, that alot for a hubby to be hanging around! LOL)


Jessica D. said...

Glad to hear you family is back together:)